- 07 Nov 2019, 14:35
Magda rested her forehead on her knees, avoiding his gaze whether he was actually looking at her or not.
"I'm not at awkward as you." She retorted. "And stop with the 'you're too pretty' shit."
She pursed her lips, shaking her head.
"The Mistress likes her women to be perfect, flawless, blemishless until she decides to put the mark there. I watched Petra scrub herself clean, taking potion after potion, smother herself in salves - just to keep herself flawless for her. Astrid had such a hold on her that Petra gave up a hefty portion of her training, completely missing out on close combat just to ensure no injuries. I knew that every new bruise, cut, bite, scar came from Astrid. Maybe that's why I purposely allowed myself to get punched a few times, pretended to be scared of surgery or magic to fix my broken nose, refused to have my teeth straightened - anything to make myself look less appealing."
"And all I hear now is that I'm pretty. I sound so conceited...but Pretty Lina...is not me. I never want it to be me. I dread it being me. It felt nice being found attractive...and then she asked me. Tried to blackmail me. I'm not just pretty to boys...Astrid saw it. Even with scars and bruises and rough hands and shorter hair. She asked me to join her and Nathan..."
"Viktor was different. Where my features repelled Astrid, he seemed to like a girl with a fighter spirit. He traced every scar with his fingers, kissed every bruise, encouraged me to keep fighting and become the viking I was in a past life."
She lifted her head and stared up at the shedding tree branches.
"When we were together, I almost wanted to see how far I could push it...how much damage I could do to make sure Astrid looked away, but he would still look at me. I never got to the chance, since he'd already moved on with a new wife...she's incredibly beautiful.More beautiful than Petra, or Jodie, or that Veela. Stunning...and I can't stop thinking about it. He said he liked me because I looked different...but he had chosen the bride, and she was just...perfect....At first I thought he just didn't want to have someone to remind him of me. But time went by and he never even spoke to me - completely ignored me - I thought it was all an act."
She took a breath.
"You don't have to say it, you know. I've known for a long time that he was playing me...but that doesn't stop the way I felt with him."